damned

This is the week - the first of it's kind.
Ok, well not really. There have been other weeks where I waited in anticipation of the infamous "rebooting of the ovarian operating system" (p.s. googling euphemisms for menstruation is rather humorous. you should try it).

So I'm supposed to start menstruation this week, and honestly, I fully expect to. However, as I alluded to in my last post, I've been working really hard this month and well I'd kind of like it if for some reason my Aunt Flo decided not to travel my way for a while.

Either way, I told myself I wouldn't assume one thing or the other until the end of this week. Then I would know.

So this is the first week where it's all up in the air and whatever happens, I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. If I do, I'll be a little disappointed because I was hoping to be one month down and that much closer to the reality of a baby in my arms. If I don't, then I'd be worried I didn't get to really give this pregnancy thing a good beginning.
(For optimists out there - if I do, I'll get my 2nd chance and if I don't, I'll get my baby sooner.)

I write this AS I feel my first symptom of any kind - and I'm pretty sure it's PMS. I think it's going to be a long week one way or the other.