Here we go again

In the late evening hours of April 5, my 2nd daughter made her debut in this world. She was a healthy weight and height and the birth itself was healthy and, might I say, relatively easy. But the 36 hours leading up to that moment made me think that perhaps it was not going to end up that way.

The previous Friday, I went in for my weekly check-up. Everything was good - my weight, my blood pressure, etc. Baby's heartbeat was healthy. Just for good measure, the doc decided to bring in a portable ultrasound machine and confirmed that baby was head down, right where she needed to be. Since baby wasn't particularly making any indication of an immediate arrival, my doctor said to schedule an official ultrasound at my next appointment.

So I came back on Thursday, April 4 for the ultrasound. It was 2 days before my due date and they just wanted to make sure baby was still healthy. And she was. She was estimated to be a whopping 9 pounds, 1 ounce. We didn't freak out too much at this because our firstborn was estimated at 9.5 lbs at her ultrasound and a follow up one the next week even said 10 lbs but when she was born 2 days later, she was only 8 lbs and 4 oz. But they got that estimate based on her head circumference which was proportionally the head of a 10 lb baby. (My in-laws have big heads!) However, I did notice that this technician took multiple measurements in addition to the head circumference, like length of the femur or something and the average of those measurements estimated my baby girl at 9lb 1oz.

But that wasn't the scariest part of the appointment. The very first thing the technician pointed out (because honestly I have no idea what's on those screens until they point it out) was that my daughter was now completely turned upside down. Well, I guess I should say downside up cause upside down would have been ideal. Instead of her head being down like it was supposed to be (and like it was the previous week), it was now UP near my chest. She was basically sitting up. I had heard the term "breech" enough to know this is not good.

We took this information upstairs to my doctor and found out just how NOT good this was. Basically the complications of giving birth to a baby in this position are so severe that doctors do not even attempt it if they are aware of it (which now my doctor was). She even did another portable ultrasound just to make sure that baby's head was in fact up because she just couldn't believe she had turned so quickly. Usually, babies turn breech when there's plenty of room to do so. It's unusual for a baby who was in the right position to turn breech after week 37 or so simply because they do not have the room to perform such gymnastics. So doctors have time to try various techniques to get the baby to move back. But my due date was in 2 days and my baby was estimated at 9lbs. She was too big and there just simply wasn't the space to try to move her. So given the high risk of complications and the low chance of her moving into a healthy position, the doctor convinced us that having a C section was the best option. We talked in her office for a long time about all the pros and cons and what to expect and then left her office with an appointment for a scheduled C section the next day.

We then met some friends for a park date where I got to enjoy time with my toddler as well as talk through the decision we had just made. Then I went home and attacked all the things still left on my pre-baby to-do list while also looking up everything I could about C sections. I even called a friend who had 2 of them and asked her to talk me through the process. By the time I went in the next morning, I was well informed and completely on board. Frankly, I was kind of looking forward to knowing that by the afternoon, I'd have a baby in my arms and I wouldn't have to spend my day dealing with contractions and all that.

To appease me the day before, the doctor told me she would make sure they gave me a "scan" (another quick ultrasound) to make sure baby was still breech. Since she had most likely flipped to breech Wednesday night, there was a small chance she'd flip back Thursday night. So after I got all prepped for surgery, they decided to humor me with a quick scan. Shockingly, that crazy rascal had turned upside down again. The OB in the room couldn't believe it. We couldn't believe it! She called my doctor who came down (her office is on 6th floor, L&D was on 3rd) right away because she couldn't believe it either.

Taking into account my daughter's proclivity for gymnastics and the fact that I was already in a hospital gown and everything, we decided the best plan at that point was to induce pregnancy and get that baby out before she did another 180. All that work preparing for a C section and now I had to mentally prepare to actually give birth. At least now I get a little bit of food because I was STARVING. I was told not to eat 12 hrs prior to surgery but now I'm supposed to run a marathon?? Yeah, I'll take some jello, please. Make it two.

So at 11:30 on Friday morning, I officially started the labor process. I was already dilated to 3 and was having contractions, so they were hoping it could get done before my doctor left for the day. But several cups of jello later, I was still there, with no end in sight, when both my doctor and my nurse clocked out. At some point in the afternoon, I got the beautiful epidural by the best doctor I've ever met in my life so I really didn't care about much. By dinner time (for everybody else, of course, unless you count chicken broth as a meal), my toddler even came up to see me. Except apparently she didn't get the memo that she was there to see me. She was too distracted by the presence of 5 of her grandparents and all the crazy machinery in the room to even notice her mom. Besides, what was so special about mom being in bed?

But after she left, I started feeling some pressure. I told the nurse and everybody left the room. The nurse checked it out and sure enough, baby was ready. She contacted the on-call doctor who was there within 20 minutes. I had met this doctor before at a random check-up and she seemed nice enough. But she came in on this Friday night jazzed up, talking a million words a minute about who knows what and getting dressed just as quickly. The room immediately transformed into a delivery room and just a few pushes later, my baby was born at 8:33pm. The quickness of my delivery combined with the gymnastics had caused the umbilical cord to be loosely wrapped around her neck. The nurses immediately took care of her and it wasn't too long before I heard that beautiful scream.

Of course, the sequence of events following that are a bit of a blur and frankly the only people who care about them are women who are about to give birth. Basically, there was a weight check (9lbs exactly) and various other tests on baby while I lay in bed recuperating. Eventually we got to meet and the first thing I remember was just how much she looked like her sister, which, if you recall, means she was absolutely beautiful. By the time grandparents came in later, I was for sure exhausted. But more than anything else, I was HUNGRY. Seriously, why can't a burger be brought up as soon as the doctor says "It's a girl!"?? It was easily 11pm before I got that burger and I'm pretty sure it was the best thing I ever ate in my life.

I spent the next couple days in the hospital and everything was great. Visitors came and went. And it turns out it wasn't just the high of delivery and the lack of food for 24 hrs that made the burger good - everything they made was delicious. They also make a black bean and chipotle burger that I'm considering getting when I go back for my 6wk check-up. I had made a goodie box for the nurses with granola bars and candy. Only a few took me up on the offer, but offering it made me feel better when I then asked them to bring me things like more medicine and juice, even though I know it's their job. Also, random fact - each nurse in the postpartum wing progressively got 10 years older than the previous nurse. The first one we met around 1am Saturday morning was maybe 30, then the next one around 40, etc. It's a good thing we checked out when we did Sunday afternoon because we were afraid of who we would get next.

When we got home Sunday, our family dropped our toddler off (and looked extremely happy to do so), who immediately took to her little sister. She had met her a couple times in the hospital, but it was chaotic and she really wasn't focused. She loved her sister and wanted to take care of her, but we could tell she was misplacing her emotions when she threw a fit that her food was touching her plate wrong. A good night's sleep in her own bed took care of that.

I know how incredibly blessed I am. Even with the scare of a C section (which is a totally normal and safe option, by the way), I had faith in my doctor,the hospital and modern medicine. I knew Iwould have a healthy baby one way or the other. And I already had a healthy happy toddler at home who has blessed me immensely.

Baby snuggles and toddler giggles are not things to take for granted. I am blessed.

The Teresa Yakel Guide to Making (and Keeping) Resolutions

*BIG PICTURE
Think about long-term goals you have set or items you have on your bucket list. For instance, I’d like to see a game in every MLB stadium, so each year my resolution is to cross off 1 new stadium from the list. This is a great place to start when thinking of Resolutions.

*WHOLE-SELF-IMPROVEMENT
Most resolutions are made in an effort to make the resolver better in some way, usually physically. But think beyond just weight loss and diet: What fears do you want to overcome? Resolve to lead a meeting at work to overcome a fear of speaking in public. Is there a skill you want to develop further? Take a class/workshop. Do you tend to resent the predictability of life? Try something new this year.
As you create your resolutions, think of the whole person. How can you improve your life mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, socially? Think of ALL of these areas when creating your list.

*GET REAL
Set reasonable and attainable goals. For instance, while I’d love to travel to 5 new places this year (a previous New Year’s resolution), it’s just not going to happen in 2013 if I also plan on having a baby in April (which I do). Don’t set yourself up for failure by reaching beyond your means. Losing 20 pounds in a year is reasonable for most people; losing 200 probably isn’t. If you want to see all 50 States or lose 200lbs, break down the big goal into something you can actually accomplish this year. Also, don’t resolve to do something that is out of your control. For instance, I never put on my Resolution List “get pregnant” because I know that ultimately I cannot control that and having it on my list would only make me more depressed when December came and it just didn’t happen for me that year.

*SELF-REWARDING
Make the resolution the reward. Do you enjoy going to the movies, concerts, the zoo, etc but can’t ever seem to make it happen? Put it on the list. Have you always wanted to try that restaurant by your work? Put it on the list. Resolutions should be things you actually want to do. Make them fun.

*THE MORE THE MERRIER
By now, you may have figured out that I have more than one item on my list. This year my list includes 13 things I’d like to do by the end of the year. While that may be unrealistic for most (see aforementioned point), setting multiple goals is actually more motivating than having just 1. If you put something small, simple and fun as one of your items (“Try New Restaurant”), accomplishing it will give you enough satisfaction to motivate you to do something a little harder (“Go Skydiving”). Start with 3 Resolutions of varying degrees of difficulty. Even if you only do 1 of the 3, you still did something you resolved to do and the confidence of completing a resolution will propel you to do 2 next year and so on.

*BEEEE SPECIFIC
“Be a Better Friend” is a great aspiration. However, it’s hard to measure. What ways do you want to be a better friend? I’m horrible at correspondence so I resolved to send 10 greeting cards in the mail this year (I only did 3 but those 3 appreciated it!). Another person may want to resolve to have a “Girls’ Nights” once a month to make sure they spend time with their friends.
You want to “Read More”? How much more? 5 books a year? 20 books a year? Be specific. Is there a genre you want to read more often? Put that in your resolution: Read 5 Biographies. That’s certainly more measurable than “Read More”.

*ACCOUNTABILITY
Don’t try going it alone. Tell somebody your resolutions. You don’t have to post it on Facebook or anything, but you do need to share it with somebody. Accountability is one of the most underrated tools in our arsenal. You may even want to incorporate people into the actual resolutions. You want to exercise more? Find somebody at the same interest and ability level as you to join at the gym. Maybe your sister wants to take that cooking class with you.
You should also consider ways to keep yourself accountable. Set up email reminders or text alerts. Find an app for your smart phone. For example, YouVersion is great if you want to read the Bible more. They send email reminders, have Bible reading plans and provide statistical feedback about your progress.

*START/RESTART WHENEVER
January 1 is great because it signifies newness. But every day is a new day. So what if you don’t have a list together at midnight? If March rolls around and you realize you want to learn a new language, then start in March. Don’t wait until January 2014.
When June comes around and you come across your dusty list, reevaluate if those things are still important to you and start right then. You failed by February? Try again.
Guilt has amazing ways of keeping us from accomplishing our goals. Don’t let it stop you just because you got a late start or skipped a month. Guilt will convince you the only time to start is January 1 and that you must be perfect or it’s not worth even trying. You only crocheted half the afghan? That’s half more than you made last year and a great start for next year’s afghan. Don’t quit.

For reference, see my 2012 and 2013 Resolutions.

 

Thirteen for 13

2013 Resolutions

*See 1 new MLB Stadium before 30^th birthday (for a total of 10)

*Perform a script on stage at least once

*Sing in front of a crowd at least once

*Walk a 5k

*Take at least one class for Personal Development (e.g. photography), Professional Development (other than those required by job) and Spiritual Development (e.g. Bible Study)

*Attend 5 extracurricular events of the youth at Fee Fee

*Attend 10 Fee Fee youth events (at least 1 overnight)

*Read 10 books

*Try 12 new Pinterest ideas

*Try at least 1 new restaurant each month

*Go to the movies at least once each month

*Have a Mommy/Daughter date with each of my children at least once a month

*Do a Random Act of Kindness at least once a month


If you need help creating your own resolutions, see my guide.
Best of luck!

 

twenty dozen

Since people have referred to 2012 as “twenty-dozen” I thought I’d use that as inspiration for my resolutions. So I came up with 240 (20*12) things I wanted to make sure happen this year:


2012 Resolutions


-Take a photography class


-See at least 1 new MLB stadium


-Perform a script on stage at least once


-Get my hair cut at least 3 times


-Buy 5 new CDs


-Walk a 5k


-Attend at least 5 extra-curricular events at my school (dance, concert)


-Attend at least 10 youth events (at least 1 overnight)


-Complete 10 photo projects (at least 5 new ones I’ve not done before)


-Go 10 places I’ve never been before


-Send a dozen greeting cards in the mail to family/friends


-Have an entire day with no plans at least once a month


-Go to the movies at least once a month


-Update photos on Facebook at least once a month


-Write at least 20 blog posts


-Read 20 books (at least 5 nonfiction)


-Memorize 20 Scripture verses


-Finish 20 You Version Bible mini-plans


-Eliminate 25% of our debt


-Write a thank you note to a coworker once a week during the school year (36)



I finalized the list this morning during (I mean, after, of course) the Sermon titled “A Plan to be Spiritually Fit in 2012.” Only a few of the things have to do specifically with the things our pastor suggested (reading the Bible, serving in our church, etc), but they will all in some way help me grow in my faith.

My life motto for the past few years has been based on John 10:10 “I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” Jesus doesn’t want us to live passively; He wants us to live passionately. There are desires He has given me in my heart that if I don’t actively pursue, I am not honoring Him and His calling for me. Taking photos, performing on stage, writing, reading, building relationships - these are things that if I don’t make a plan to do, they won’t get done. When they don’t happen, there’s an empty part of me that longs to be fulfilled. When we allow ourselves to get bogged down by the things in life that don’t edify us in any way, we are allowing “the thief” to come and destroy (the first part of John 10:10) our soul, robbing it of what it needs to Thrive.

You may not need to write out 20 items totaling 240 (only weird Type-A people thrive from a big to-do list), but I want to challenge you to think of ways you can live out John 10:10 this year. What has God placed in your heart? What plan do you need to put in place to pursue those? Are there things in your life that are robbing you of joy and satisfaction? How can 2012 be the year you set those aside and persevere to accomplish your heart’s desires (Hebrews 12:1)?

Let's Start at the Very Beginning - Part 3

Read these first: [Part One] and [Part Two]


The Birth Story – Elation

So far, my story has been kind of mundane. I had been at the hospital for about 22 hours and had been asleep for easily more than half of the time. I’m glad my husband’s parents were there to keep him entertained, because I honestly didn’t even know if he was in the room or not. But by 4:00 pm on Wednesday, things were getting interesting.

The Pitocin was doing its job and my OB/GYN was pleased with my progress so far. As mentioned previously, my baby was estimated to be 10 pounds and my body had to be convinced that labor was a good thing. The doctor had warned me that if at any point my body wasn’t making progress, he would strongly recommend a C-section. He knew that thought scared me but he also knew I trusted him (he did come very highly recommended from several people) to make the right decision for the health of my baby.

So when he came in my room at 4, and decided I was ready to start pushing, I couldn’t believe it. First of all, that meant the napping was going to end. It also meant there was going to be a baby soon. Before the nurses could come back to get everything set up, I had re-applied my make-up and said “See Ya” to the in-laws. It was GO time.

THIS IS IT!! Any minute now! Isn’t that how it works? The doctor says push, you push and a baby comes out. This won’t take long. Okay, maybe a couple of pushes, but surely not longer than 10 minutes right? Maybe 20? I can do 20 minutes of strenuous exercise. Just this once. It’s for a good cause.

They turned down my epidural so I could be aware of the contractions. I still didn’t feel any pain, thank goodness, but I definitely felt the contractions and before too long, I figured out when to push without the nurses having to tell me. Before too long, I was getting the hang of it. Any minute now, and we’ll have a baby. Right?

Ok, so I’m not exactly one who believes everything she sees on TV, but without any other frame of reference, I really didn’t anticipate it taking this long. I honestly had no idea what to expect. I didn’t even realize I was pushing wrong for like the first hour until my doctor scolded me for not really meaning it. This is the part of the story where I stopped having fun and started getting discouraged. I was frustrated and EXHAUSTED. Why isn’t my baby here yet? The nurses tell me I’m doing great, but am I?

At 4, he was proud of my progress. At 4:30, he was patient. At 5, he was disappointed. By 5:30, he threatened C-section. Now I was really upset. Fortunately, the nurse I had this whole time was really nice, understanding and encouraging. She had a friendly personality and made me feel better. But right as the doc threw down the ultimatum (progress or surgery), another nurse stepped in. She was high on delivery, since she had just gotten done delivering a baby next door (all the women on my hall went into labor at the same time). She also must have been high on a cocktail of things because she instantly infused enthusiasm into the whole room. She refused to accept C-section as an answer and she refused to let me give up on myself. She had the energy of a cheerleader at a Homecoming Pep Rally and treated the whole affair with as much gusto. We were having this baby and we were having her NOW! LET’S GO! LET’S GO! L-E-T-S. G-O. Rah-Rah-Shish-Koom-Bah! GOOOO BABY!!!

She gave me just what I needed. Suddenly, my humor was back and my spirits were up. I could totally do this. I will show that doctor. And I did. When he came in, instead of prepping for surgery, he immediately prepped for delivery. It’s go time.

Before I knew it, the room was full of every sort of nurse. At the touch of a button, lights had dropped from the ceiling and machines came out of closets. It was like the BatCave or something. I was so distracted, I wasn’t even thinking about what I was doing. I was just pushing. The combination of Cheer-Nurse and the Magic Lights gave me energy I never knew I had. I pushed like I never pushed before. And suddenly, the doctor told me NOT to push.

The moment was here. All in a whirlwind of a second, My Baby was here. She was so incredibly beautiful. She was beautiful. So beautiful. That’s all I could think. She was healthy and beautiful and HERE. And now, in my arms. I’m holding my baby. My. Baby. And she was beautiful.

I cried. I’m not much of a crier. But I cried. I had been working so hard and I was so tired and exhausted and oh my goodness, she’s here. She’s in my arms. And I cried. And I held her and cried. Then they took her and weighed her (8 lbs, 4 oz) and I cried. It wasn’t a silent, single-tear-rolling-down-the-cheek cry. It was a body shaking, sobbing, snot-inducing tear-fest. She was here. And did I mention, she was beautiful?

The next couple days were filled with overwhelming joy and confusion and ignorance and confidence and trust and worry and annoyance and friendship and lots of photos and visitors and nurses and tests and pain and medicine. I actually could tell you soooo much more about the after-party than the pre-show, but people aren’t as interested in that part. But they should be. A lot happens then that I didn’t know to expect. So if you’re about to go in for labor, please ask. I’d love to talk about it.

If I could just leave you with one piece of advice, and this is for all patients, not just post-delivery – don’t let a nurse intern do anything to you unless you have anesthesia and don’t get a catheter unless you have anesthesia and whatever you do, certainly don’t let BOTH of those happen if you can even remotely feel pain. Because she WILL mess up and you WILL feel it and for the 2nd time in 24 hours, you will cry. But this time, it’ll be pound-your-fist, close-your-eyes and scream-to-God that the pain will stop – oh, God, why won’t the pain stop – kind of tears and you’ll make the poor student feel bad.

Fortunately, though, as truisms go, what they say about forgetting the pain is accurate. I have the emotional memory of knowing something painful happened those few days in the hospital, but I don’t have the physical memory. And more strongly than the pain, I remember the joy. The absolute ELATION of the moment she appeared in this world. The moment I held her in my arms. The first time I nursed. The first bath. Just holding her. Watching others hold her. Just looking at her. Absolute ELATION.

I know the feeling by heart because it’s a familiar one. The pain went away. Not as quickly as I wanted, but it did. And people took care of me the whole time. Even at home. My church family and my real family loved on me. And the pain went away. The elation? I feel it all the time. Every time I hold her. When I look at her. Now, I get to add to it all the new things she does. When she smiles, when she laughs, when she recognizes my voice and turns to see me with joy in her eyes? ELATION.

Let's Start at the Very Beginning - Part 2

[Part One]

The Birth Story – Getting Situated

On Tuesday, March 1, I went to the hospital at the pre-appointed time. The bags had been ready for days, the nails were freshly painted and the anticipation couldn’t be higher. We knew exactly where to go from the tour we took a month earlier. When we gave the nurses our information, they actually told us come back in an hour. So we went to Sonic and I was forced to decide what color drink I may or may not puke up later. I decided on purplish pink (grape watermelon). It was a gorgeous day, so we walked around the parking lot with our Sonic drinks talking about all things we were looking forward to doing with our baby girl.

By 6 o’clock, they had a room ready for us so we got settled in. It was very spacious. It had a couch, a couple comfy chairs and a nice view. I felt very comfortable already. It wasn’t long before we met our first nurse who got everything set up. Gown on, monitors set. Very anti-climactic. Except for the part where they let an intern set-up my IV. It didn’t bother me as much as it should have (you’ll see).

The first step in the inducement process is what the call Cervadil and the main goal is just to “encourage” my body to start labor on its own. So my first 10 hours in the hospital were spent waiting for something to happen. Fortunately, they gave me sleeping medicine and left me alone. Who goes to the hospital to give birth and gets a full night’s sleep? Yeah, I wasn’t going to question it. I accepted it and fell asleep.

The side effect of the Cervadil was mild cramping, so when I woke up around 4am with bad cramps, I just ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. It didn’t work particularly well, so by the time the nurse came in at 6am, I was wide awake and fully convinced I was feeling more than cramps. Pleased with the progress my body was making, we went forward with the induction plan (as opposed to scrapping the whole thing for a C-section as threatened by doc if things didn’t progress). The nurse, who wasn’t as nurturing as my first nurse, administered the Pitocin.

For those who aren’t familiar with Pitocin, it REALLY encourages the body to go into labor as QUICKLY as possible. Before I knew it, those “cramps” I had been feeling were officially contractions and they were officially painful. The Lamaze class had engrained the concept of distraction, so I gathered up my cords, moved to the birthing ball, propped the laptop on a table and watched the very hilarious but unfortunately not distracting enough, Zoolander. My hubster knew the contractions were bad when I winced in the middle of Derek counting syllables on his hand instead of laughed. It was time for the epidural.

After 6 hours of contractions that were only 2 minutes apart, I was more than ready for some relief. Eventually, the anesthesiologist came and with him, glorious relief, well, of course after one more burst of pain.

Getting the epidural was more painful than any contraction I had felt, but suddenly, I felt no more pain at all. I felt nothing at all. I didn’t even care when another nursing student administered my catheter. I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted to sleep. So I did. For the next 6 hours. I stirred when the nurses checked the monitors and rolled over when they said. I feigned conversation with my husband his parents. I even occasionally updated my facebook and texted my coworkers. But mostly, I slept. Glorious, wonderful, pain-free, sleep.

[Part Three]

Let's Start at the Very Beginning - Part 1

Before I head back to work, I thought it would be appropriate to reminisce on the event over 5 months ago that more or less "caused" me to be off work in the first place. I promise this will not be too-TMI. After all, you need to know what some of the words/phrases even mean in order to be grossed out by them and if you do, chances are you won't be. Without any further ado:

The Birth Story - Anticipation

Let's start on Thursday, February 24 - 4 days before my due date. Despite my doc's previous statement that we could go a week or more past due date without any worry, the tone of this appointment was a little less assuring. He had us come in for an ultrasound to see how baby was doing. Turns out, she was doing GREAT. As an early indication of Little Miss Piggy’s ability to gain weight, the ultrasound estimated her to be over 9 lbs. Meanwhile, my body wasn’t particularly giving any indication that it was ready to give birth any time soon. The doctor wanted me to come back in on Monday morning for another ultrasound and he went ahead and scheduled my check-in at the hospital for Tuesday afternoon.

The combination of those appointments made it virtually impossible for me to try to get any work done the next week. The workaholic in me was now in a full-out panic. I went back to work in freak-out mode and frantically sent out a series of emails. Fortunately, the lessons had already been planned, copies were already made and arrangements all made. But now, there’s an actual end date. I was in such a tizzy that I completely forgot my principal was coming that day to finish my annual evaluation! Good thing I work best under pressure!

So I said my goodbyes, finished packing up my personal belongings (including whatever food was left in my mini-fridge) and locked up my classroom for the last time. Walking away from my classroom with 1/3 of the year left was quite possibly the hardest thing I had to do at that point in my life. I told myself not to worry and spent the rest of the weekend doing all the “pre-baby” things I still had left on my list, including inviting friends over to watch the Oscars.

When I went in Monday, February 28, my due date, I delighted at getting to see all the ultrasound images again. However, I cringed when the technician revealed a new estimated weight – TEN POUNDS. Now I know full well that ultrasound estimates are just that, estimates. On average, they could be off by a pound or so. But even taking that into account, I knew 2 things – Baby Girl was BIG and she was growing by the minute. I also knew, confirmed by my doctor, that my body was not ready to give birth, even to a 2 lb baby. Nothing was happening.

The doctor explained to me my options: go 100% natural and risk shoulder dysplasia, a serious risk to baby; be induced Tuesday afternoon as scheduled and hope the body kicks in, but still risk shoulder dysplasia if it doesn’t; or schedule a C-section for either that day or the next morning and just be done with it. Honestly, the idea of a C-section really freaked me out, even though I knew of many successful ones and no unsuccessful ones. I decided to go forward with the original plan (inducement) and after one last bubble bath, I felt much better about my decision.

One way or the other, I was going to have a baby. She was going to be healthy. She was going to be beautiful. I was going to love her. That's all that mattered.

[Part Two] [Part Three]